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One of the greatest benefits of having close friendships is the fact that our good friends can support and help us when things get tough in our lives.

In exchange for the support our buddies give us throughout a crisis, the majority of us also help our friends when they need it.

In a relationship between two emotionally healthy people, the roles of giving and receiving help are balanced. Both men and women offer help and receive help from each other in roughly equal amounts.

With all the social networking sites now accessible on the internet along with thousands of chat rooms people today are literally spending more time making friends on networks like Facebook and Twitter and within chat rooms rather than in reality.

However, you can find some people who always take on the role of being the helper, no matter what relationship they're in.

These men and women have friendships that focus exclusively on trying to solve the issues of their close friends. We sometimes call this quality "co-dependency", and we may label individuals who are obsessed with helping other people "co-dependent".

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An individual who is co-dependent will tend to have relationships with individuals who have a lot of issues - emotional, social, familial and financial. The co-dependent person may spend a lot of their very own time, money, and energy helping other individuals who have problems, while ignoring the issues in their very own life.

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Why would somebody be co-dependent?

A person who is co-dependent typically suffers from a deep sense of worthlessness and anxiousness, and tries to derive a sense of self-worth by helping or rescuing others.

A person who's co-dependent might not know how to relax and feel comfortable in a friendship where both people are equals and the romantic relationship is based on enjoying one another's company.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see whether your "helping" behavior might actually be co-dependency:

- Do you have a difficult time saying no to others, even when you are very busy, financially broke, or totally exhausted?

- Are you currently always sacrificing your own needs for everyone else?

- Do you really feel much more worthy as a human being because you have taken on a helping role?

- If you stopped helping your buddies, would you really feel guilty or worthless?

In case you answered "yes" to a lot of these questions, you may indeed have an issue with co-dependency.

This doesn't mean that you are a flawed person.

It means that you are spending a great deal of energy on other folks and very little on yourself.

If you suspect that your helping behavior is a form of co-dependency, an excellent therapist or counselor will help you gain perspective on your actions and learn a more balanced way of relating to others.

There are lots of outstanding books readily available on the subject of co-dependency. One excellent book is neil strauss the game on the game strauss site. Lots of guys get girls by using this book. Support groups such as Al-Anon can also help.

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